The Journey to Me

Clothes shrink, voices change, and one can finally reach the elusive cookie jar on the top shelf. Hundreds of changes happen between growing from a kid to a teen. Right now, I feel like I’m falling into the best part of my life. Greater responsibilities that leave me drained pile up on me without end. Personal strength has been discovered and helped me face some of the hardest times in my life. Willingly setting oneself in a leader’s position terrifies most people, but I look forward to the challenges it presents.

Responsibility provides the earliest sign of maturity. Dedicating oneself to something whole-heartedly, such as with Miss Lottie and her garden from the story "Marigolds" by Eugenia Collier, demonstrates a hard work ethic and reliability. The more one demonstrate one’s level of responsibility, the more jobs one will be entrusted with. My first job at fourteen, I became a summer camp counselor. Caring for about thirty kids from nine in the morning until two in the afternoon takes loads of energy and focus. Working my way from breakfast to swimming, through playtime and lunch, until the end of second playtime, I ad to watch them every minute. Everyday, my daily duties included stopping fights, serving prepackaged food, passing out art supplies, and taking care of any and all injuries. Parents left their kids in my hands, believing I would keep them safe. A stone parrot seemed to be permanently on my shoulders as I watched over all the children like a stressed out fairy godmother.

Inner strength came as the next epiphany of my development. Just as Lizabeth from “Marigolds” changed when she heard her father cry, I faced a similar situation. One day, my mother came home upset, blared some music, and broke down sobbing. Truth struck me like a slap in the face at the idea that anything could break her down. From that moment, I realized moms are human too and need people to support them just as much as their kids. Mom wasn’t the only one to need a shoulder to lean on. I fell into a deep depression. No matter how hard I tried, only a fake smile could grace my face, never a true one. Beaten and broken, I was an empty shell. Getting up and shedding my mask was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but now I can finally show my true self.

Leading is the highest point one can reach in maturity. People who lead have a level of confidence and security that others envy. ‘Leader’ has always been the title of choice when others described me. My sister was born when I was just over a year old. Setting the right example for her to follow became priority numero uno. Visualizing her achieving her dreams and living happily became the greatest hope in my heart. Wanting to help my friends and classmates reach their potential captured another part of my heart. Establishing the tutoring committee in my school forced me to change. Never before have I created something from the ground up that could greatly affect others. Reaching a position of power holds a huge chance for failure, but it also gives one the tools needed to make an impact for the better.

To sum it up, I’ve grown up, maybe a bit more than others. I can handle almost anything that comes my way with grace and skill. Fear doesn’t stop me from doing what I want and what I must. Getting to this point has cost me dearly, but I would do it all again in a heart beat. Someday, I know I’ll be able to look back and feel proud of myself. Can you say the same?