The Good, The Bad, and The Kris

You ask me “what can you do?”
I reply “I make people cry
I make friends laugh, neighbors smile, and my mom pull her hair out
I’ll walk up to you, to answer a question
And leave you more confused than you were before
You never know what I will say
But you know you won’t wan to hear it
I can lift you up, tear you down, spin you around,
And flip you upside down with just a word or two
Smiles cover my face
And sarcasm fills my space
I’m at the bottom of the pit
On the top of the world
First to finish last and last to be the first
Following me will get you nowhere
But I’ll be happy to travel with you
I’ve got a sharp tongue and a rough hand
But I’ll help you, no matter the issue”
When you ask me “what can you do?”
I reply “I make it count”